All My Puny Sorrows

Content warning: This section of the guide discusses suicide. The text uses potentially triggering or stigmatizing terms for death by suicide that the guide reproduces in quotation only.

“She decided she too would make her mark. She came up with a design that incorporated her initials E.V.R. (Elfrieda Von Riesen) and below those the initials A.M.P. Then, like a coiled snake, the letter S, which covered, underlined, and dissected the other letters. She showed me what it looked like, on a yellow legal notepad. Hmmm, I said, I don’t get it. Well, she told me, the initials of my name are obviously the initials of my name and the A.M.P. stands for All My Puny…then the big S stands for Sorrows which encloses all the other letters.”

Elf’s AMPS tag provides insight into her complex character. In this passage, Yoli is remembering when Elf invented the AMPS design. Her reflections provide exposition for Elf’s enigmatic and spirited nature, yet they also suggest that sorrow will “enclose” the events of the narrative. The passage also clarifies the novel’s title and the symbolic resonance of the Coleridge line.

“The men in the living room remained silent, as though they were being reprimanded. Elf played louder, then quieter, then louder again. The birds stopped singing and the flies in the kitchen stopped slamming up against the windows. The air was still. She was at the center of the spinning world. This was the moment Elf took control of her life.”

Yoli’s description of Elf’s piano playing develops the novel’s exploration of the Importance of Art and Creativity to Survival. Yoli is identifying this moment as a turning point in Elf’s storyline and therefore attaching significance to Elf’s musical expression. Miriam Toews uses descriptive language and sensory detail to conjure a passionate, emotional mood.

“I was trying to act tough but I truly believed that I might die from heartbreak when my sister went away, to the extent that I had written a secret will, bequeathing my skateboard to Julie and my lifeless body to Elf, which I hoped would make her feel really guilty for leaving me to die alone.”

Yoli’s fear of saying goodbye to Elf when she leaves for Europe foreshadows Elf’s death at the novel’s end. This retrospective passage also clarifies the Enduring Strength of Sibling Bonds and the significance of Yoli and Elf’s history together. While the words like “die,” “heartbreak,” and “lifeless” are histrionic to reflect their teenage sensibilities, they express her profound discomfort with being away from her sister and foreground Yoli’s fears of Elf’s death.