Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier

Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey promote the skill of emotional self-management as a tool to increase happiness, devoting half the book’s chapters to discussing this skill. Emotional self-management refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and regulate one’s own emotions effectively. It involves the conscious effort to navigate and control emotional responses, ensuring that emotions do not negatively impact decision-making, behavior, or overall well-being. This skill encompasses various aspects, including emotional awareness, emotional expression, and emotional regulation. The roots of emotional self-management can be traced to several psychological theories and frameworks. Reviewing some of the theories and frameworks that may have influenced Brooks’s research, as well as relevant spiritual perspectives that Winfrey has addressed in the past, can shed light on the authors’ emphasis of emotional self-management as a method of increasing personal happiness.

Emotional self-management draws on a combination of psychological theories and therapeutic approaches that emphasize the importance of recognizing and regulating emotions for personal and interpersonal well-being. One pivotal influence is the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI), which was first introduced by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer and later popularized by Daniel Goleman. EI emphasizes the importance of recognizing, understanding, and regulating emotions in oneself and others. This psychological framework forms a foundational pillar for emotional self-management, proposing that individuals who are adept at perceiving and managing emotions are able to navigate life with greater resilience and interpersonal efficacy. 

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), another influential psychological approach, plays a significant role in shaping emotional self-management strategies. Developed by Aaron T. Beck, CBT posits that changing negative thought patterns can lead to a transformation in emotions and behaviors. Brooks and Winfrey advocate for a CBT-like approach to negative emotions, one they refer to as “emotional caffeine,” or “emotional substitution,” a technique in which a person focuses on replacing their negative emotions with more positive ones. CBT’s structured nature and focus on practical interventions have made it a popular and widespread therapeutic approach. However, critics argue that its exclusive emphasis on individual thoughts and behaviors may downplay broader systemic factors contributing to emotional challenges. Similar critiques may be leveled at Build the Life You Want, particularly due to its emphasis upon Individual Agency as a Key to Happiness.

Spiritual practices derived from mindfulness, such as meditation and mindfulness-based interventions, have influenced the discourse around emotional self-management. Rooted in contemplative traditions, mindfulness encourages practicing present-moment awareness without judgment. In Build the Life You Want, Brooks and Winfrey briefly note the commonalities between their approach to emotional self-management and the tradition of Zen Buddhism. By advising readers to focus less on themselves and more on the world around them, they acknowledge that “Zen Buddhism […] is fundamentally an attitude of pure outward observation” (78). Buddhist-influenced mindfulness techniques have gained widespread prominence as a means of enhancing emotional regulation skills. Build the Life You Want engages with this idea by incorporating mindfulness practices as a tool for improving emotional self-management.

On a metaphysical note, Winfrey’s media platform has played a notable role in popularizing and promoting concepts like the Law of Attraction, and her television network and book club were particularly influential sources of discussion on the topic in the mid-2000s. The Secret, a 2006 self-help book by Rhonda Byrne, gained significant attention for its emphasis on the Law of Attraction, which is the idea that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life. While this ideology gained popularity after the book’s publication, it has since faced scrutiny for oversimplifying complex life circumstances and neglecting systemic influences. Nevertheless, it underscores the interconnectedness of thoughts, emotions, and spiritual energies in shaping one’s reality. These principles share similarities with Build the Life You Want, which emphasizes the tools of emotional self-management—particularly the principles of emotional substitution and spirituality as core tenets of happiness.