Chomp

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussions of domestic violence and abuse and the mistreatment of animals.

As Mickey, Wahoo, and Tuna pack for their trip to the Everglades, Tuna is excited to meet Badger, and Wahoo doesn’t have the heart to tell her the truth about the reality star’s personality. They engage in playful banter—Tuna calls him “Lance,” and he calls her “Lucille.” Wahoo is also impressed by Tuna’s knowledge of taxonomy. Once on the road, Tuna notices Mickey grimacing with the pain of his recurring headaches and she offers him medication that she claims is “a killer on migraines” (94).

The production establishes its base of operations in a souvenir shop, the proprietor of which makes a host of unsubstantiated claims, asserting that they’ll find panthers and bears in the Everglades. Hoping to avoid another incident like the one with Alice, Raven asks Mickey to stay close to Badger during the shooting. Each night, a helicopter will transport him to a luxury hotel in Miami.

Mickey, Wahoo, Tuna, and the production team charter an airboat to scout locations. Mickey is angry when the driver treats them like tourists and insists that a stuffed alligator is real. The driver, equally angered by Mickey’s insolence, throws him overboard and drives away.

Later, while the production crew prepares the episode’s first film site, Wahoo and Tuna relax on the porch of the souvenir shop. She asks him if he has a girlfriend, and he responds in the negative. They soon establish a sense of intimacy, and Wahoo tells her about his family’s financial problems. Wahoo fears that Mickey’s behavior will cost them the job, but Tuna reassures him. Just then, Raven approaches, warning Wahoo that Mickey is already causing problems.

They all board the airboat that will ferry them to the campsite for the night. As the driver speeds through the thick sedge, Wahoo spots something in the water. It’s Mickey, paddling through the swamp atop the stuffed alligator. The driver barrels right toward him, making no attempt to swerve out of the way, so Wahoo throws his backpack at the driver, knocking the man’s foot off the accelerator. The boat stalls, drifting right up to Mickey, who calmly hauls himself onboard. Meanwhile, Badger’s helicopter passes overhead, flying him to the hotel.

At the Crays’ campsite, Wahoo worries about how to contact his mother; Mickey’s phone is now lost in the swamp. When Tuna decides to take a walk, Mickey tells his son to be a “gentleman” and accompany her. They soon come upon the film crew’s camp, and when a crew member drops a copy of the shooting script, Wahoo retrieves it and takes it back to their own campsite. The script calls for Badger to hike through the Everglades, pull a wild animal from the water, and kill it with his bare hands. Wahoo knows that his father will be livid if he learns of this. Tuna, who has always been fan of the show, is now disappointed in her own naiveté.

Meanwhile, Badger basks in his luxurious hotel room, which also features a Jacuzzi, and ponders the best way to make the Everglades episode his most thrilling yet. His contract will soon expire, and he decides that the best way to negotiate a big raise (and pay off his new yacht) is to generate big ratings, even if it means coming face-to-face with the untamed wilderness.

Wahoo awakens from a dream in which he is trying to defend Tuna from her abusive father. After a quick breakfast, Wahoo, Mickey, and Tuna join the rest of the crew and take the airboats to the first filming site. They arrive at a remote location and wait for Badger. Soon, a helicopter approaches, hovering over the site, and Badger parachutes out, landing perfectly in the middle of the swamp. When they fish him out of the water, however, they discover that it’s not Badger at all, but a stuntman. A separate helicopter delivers Badger in a basket.

Mickey and Wahoo leap into the waist-high water and search for a suitable snake for Badger to capture and kill. Mickey catches a harmless three-foot water snake and stows it in his shirt, knowing that his body heat will make the snake more difficult to handle. When he releases it into the water, Badger grabs it, and the snake goes wild, biting him repeatedly. He is finally forced to let it go, and the crew fishes Badger out of the water.

After his wounds are treated, Badger calls it quits for the day, but his helicopter is grounded due to bad weather, so he has to rough it with the rest of the crew. When the storm rolls in, Wahoo and Tuna take refuge in Tuna’s tent. She tells him that her encyclopedic knowledge of taxonomy is her coping mechanism to deal with her abusive father and forget about the fact that the bank is foreclosing on their house. Feeling guilty for his own comparatively easy life, Wahoo steps out and walks through the storm. He wanders past the crew’s camp, and Raven beckons him under the catering tent and gives him a dry jacket. She has a satellite phone and agrees to let Wahoo call his mother. He tells her about Tuna and her abusive father, and suddenly, the injustice of life hits him hard. Raven tells Wahoo to take Tuna to the police when the job is over. The storm doesn’t relent, and Badger is furious at having to spend the night in a tent. Suddenly, a bat appears under the food canopy, sluggish and “quivering.” Badger decides to make the bat his perfunctory meal.