Hinds’ Feet on High Places

The story begins with a succinct introduction by the narrator: “This is the story of how Much-Afraid escaped from her Fearing relatives and went with the Shepherd to the High Places where ‘perfect love casteth out fear’” (3). Much-Afraid is a young girl who lives in the Valley of Humiliation and deals with a number of physical maladies, “with feet so crooked that they often caused her to limp” and with a crooked mouth “which greatly disfigured both expression and speech” (3), conditions that cause her great distress and consternation to all those around her. Despite this challenge, she has been “in the service of the Chief Shepherd” for quite some time (3), along with many other of the Shepherd’s followers, and Much-Afraid hopes to one day be delivered of her infirmities and to be made well—even to be made like the Shepherd himself.

Equally as troubling as her physical deformities are her troublesome relations, the Family of Fearings: her Aunt, poor Mrs. Dismal Forebodings, and her three cousins, Gloomy, Spiteful, and Craven Fear, all of whom despise the Shepherd and all who pledge allegiance to him. One day they determine that Much-Afraid should be immediately married to her cousin Craven Fear, and Much-Afraid flees in horror to the trysting place, a location on the outskirts of the village where she often meets the Shepherd. Once she arrives, the Shepherd chastises her for allowing her relations to influence her in such a manner: “[Y]ou ought never to have let your Fearing relatives into your cottage, because they are enemies of the King who has taken you into his employment” (5). Much-Afraid despairs of ever being rid of them and expresses her longing to escape from the Valley of Humiliation and to travel up to the High Places, “completely out of reach of all the Fearings” (5).

The Shepherd hears this longing with great happiness and agrees that this would be best for Much-Afraid, whom he agrees to lead out of the Valley and across the river, to “the borderland of [his] Father’s Kingdom, the Realm of Love” (5), where no fears are ever able to come. There is one condition, however, that the Shepherd lays out for Much-Afraid: “No one is allowed to dwell in the Kingdom of Love, unless they have the flower of Love already blooming in their hearts” (7). Much-Afraid reflects, admits that she does not think she possesses that love, and acquiesces to the Shepherd’s request to plant it within her heart. The seed of true love is revealed to be shaped like a thorn, and Much-Afraid initially cowers before the prospect of feeling the pain of love planted in her heart: “‘I am afraid,’ she said. ‘I have been told that if you really love someone you give that loved one the power to hurt and pain you in a way nothing else can’” (7). The Shepherd admits this to be true and promises her that once the seed of love is planted in her heart she will be loved in return and that she will be given a new name.

Much-Afraid receives the seed into her heart, is immediately comforted by feelings of courage, and is even able to smile for the first time. The Shepherd then introduces her to two figures who will be her traveling companions, as he tells her that he himself will not be able to accompany her physically at all times; with this Much-Afraid is sent back home to await the call of the Shepherd, and she sings a song to herself as she travels. Upon setting off towards home, she is horrified to meet with Craven Fear and is immediately set into a panic in anticipation of being tormented by him. In the midst of Much-Afraid feeling overcome with terror and self-doubt, the Shepherd appears and puts Craven to flight without a word. Feeling ashamed, she continues to limp home, eventually feeling comforted at the memory of having the seed of love within her. She lulls herself to sleep that night by singing “another of the lovely songs from the old song book” that she knows is often used by the Shepherds (13).

Much-Afraid awakes the next morning in anticipation of her future journey with the Shepherd to the High Places, but she is soon interrupted by what she fears most: “an invasion by her terrible relatives” (16). Having heard of Craven Fear’s rejection the previous day, they attempt to bully Much-Afraid into her betrothal and convince her the marriage will be a good idea, trying their best to lure her away from her home and into the home of Lord Fearing, the family patriarch. As they are pressing in on her and doing their best to convince her to their side, “gradually bringing her to a state of bewilderment and incoherent fear” (18), Much-Afraid hears the Chief Shepherd, singing as he travels down the path outside her window.

Everyone in the house hears the voice and is hushed into silence, the Fearings out of dread and Much-Afraid out of shock, and before she is able to take hold of her wits, she is violently smothered by Coward, cousin Gloomy’s husband. Forcibly silenced and shoved into a chair, she almost despairs at her inability to answer the Shepherd and follow him along the way. After the Shepherd passes by, she hears the voice of her neighbor Mrs. Valiant, to whom she is finally able to emit a cry for help: “Valiant! Valiant! Come and help me. Come quickly. Help!” (21). Mrs. Valiant immediately appears at the window and routes the “pack of idle fears” as she calls them from their attempted kidnapping of Much-Afraid (22): “Out of this house you go, this minute, every one of you. If you have not left in three seconds, I shall call the Chief Shepherd. This cottage belongs to him, and won’t you catch it if he finds you here” (22). Immediately the Fearings scatter, and Much-Afraid is left to the tender care of Mrs. Valiant, who, rather than scolding her for her inability to deal with her relations on her own, treats her “with all the kindness of her motherly heart” before leaving Much-Afraid alone for the night (22).

Much-Afraid, after hours of fitful tossing and turning, finally falls asleep after her ordeal with the Fearings; she awakes in the middle of the night, however, due to the throbbing pain of the thorn in her heart. Coupled with the pain in her heart, she fears that she has lost her opportunity to accompany the Shepherd forever and whispers to herself, “Supposing he thought that I had changed my mind and didn’t want to go with him. Supposing he has gone and left me behind!” (24). Glancing down at the songbook on her bedside, she flips it open and reads a passage that speaks of a lover who wanders the city at night, seeking her beloved. She jumps out of bed, determined to go seek the Shepherd regardless of what may happen to her.

Leaving her cottage, she limps down the street, determined to find the Shepherd; making her way to the sheepfolds, she discovers some of the undershepherds who inform her that the Chief Shepherd has left for the mountains without any hint of a possible return. Crestfallen, Much-Afraid decides to take one last shot at finding the Shepherd: “Much-Afraid ceased trembling and said to herself, ‘I will go to the trysting-place, and see if he is waiting for me there’” (27). As fast as her debilitated legs can carry her, she speeds to the pool where the Shepherd often leads his flocks to drink. As the sun begins to rise, she arrives and sees the Shepherd waiting for her: “‘I knew you would come,’ he said gently” (27). In response, Much-Afraid announces her arrival and her decision to leave everything behind as she cries “I will go with you anywhere” (27), and the two head for the mountains.

On their way to the mountains, the Shepherd and Much-Afraid pass through fields of wildflowers, which Much-Afraid admires, and which the Shepherd uses to teach her a lesson about the value and dignity of each thing he and his Father have made. He explains to her that the loveliest things are often those that are unnoticed and hidden from the world:

All the fairest beauties in the human soul, its greatest victories, and its most splendid achievements are always those which no one else knows anything about, or can only dimly guess at. Every inner response of the human heart to Love and every conquest over self-love is a new flower on the tree of Love […] Some of my servants have indeed won great visible victories and are rightly loved and reverenced by other men, but always their greatest victories are like the wildflowers, those which no one knows about. Learn this lesson now, down here in the valley, Much-Afraid, and when you get to the steep places of the mountains it will comfort you (29).

They continue towards the river and sing a song from the Shepherd’s book. Arriving at the riverside, the Shepherd helps Much-Afraid to cross as she tells him of her long-held desire to know what the waters of the river could be saying: “Tell me, Shepherd, do you know what all the waters sing as they hurry on their way?” (30-31). Standing by the river, Much-Afraid realizes that she is beginning to understand the water language as it sings about rushing “lower every day” on to “the lowest place of all” (31). When she questions the Shepherd about these strange words, the Shepherd reveals the logic of the water’s desire to rush downwards when Much-Afraid’s only desire is to go upwards: “The high places […] are the starting places for the journey down to the lowest place in the world […] it is only up on the High Places of Love that anyone can receive the power to pour themselves down in an utter abandonment of self-giving” (31).

As the pair continue on their journey, she also notices the flowers and the color language that they seem to be speaking, along with the little songs sung by the birds, who break into chorus as they go along. The Shepherd continues to explain to Much-Afraid that “only Love can really understand the music and the beauty and the joy” that is spread throughout the earth (32), and that love alone will allow for true understanding when she learns to speak “Love’s own language” as he can (33).

Crossing a bridge over the river and reaching the foothills of the mountains, Much-Afraid expresses her wish for the Shepherd to carry her up the mountains himself instead of entrusting her to the two guides she had been promised. Explaining that she would never be able to develop the hinds’ feet that she desires if he were to do this, he reminds her to trust him and soothes her fears by complimenting her on the one true beauty that she possesses on her own: “You have one real beauty, Much-Afraid, you have such trustful eyes” (34).

Reaching the foot of the mountains, they encounter the two guides of which the Shepherd spoke: two veiled women “[who] were tall and appeared to be very strong” (35). Within herself, Much-Afraid questions why they are veiled, and she wonders aloud about their names and why they refuse to speak. The Shepherd explains that the two speak the language of the mountains, which she will come to learn in time, and reveals their names: ‘“This,’ said he, motioning toward the first of the silent figures, ‘is named Sorrow. And the other is her twin sister, Suffering’” (35). Hardly able to grasp the reality presented to her, Much-Afraid cries out in fright and begins to refuse, for “Sorrow and Suffering had always seemed to her the two most terrifying things which she could encounter” (36). However, Much-Afraid relents in obedience to the Shepherd, who in turn promises that she will not be put to shame and that in the most difficult places Sorrow and Suffering will be there to support her. The Shepherd leaves, bounding away up into the mountains, and the trio makes its way up the foothills.