Iveliz Explains It All

Gardening symbolizes a tangible reality for Iveliz because it provides relief from her mental health condition. Iveliz regularly presents the latter as abstract and intangible. She describes it as “darkness” or a “hole.” The PTSD and depression produce feelings that are overwhelming because she can’t grasp or quantify them. She feels them keenly, but at the same time, they’re not palpable objects. She can’t point toward a concrete “hole” or a specific “darkness.” They elude corporeality.

Gardening, however, is a tangible experience. Gardening class is the one class Iveliz likes. She says, “I don’t care if people see the dirt. / It means I planted FOOD” (34). Dirt and food are observable. They’re concrete, so they tether Iveliz to a physical reality. As gardening forces her to confront empirical reality, the untouchable world of feelings takes a backseat.

Engaging with gardening puts Iveliz in a transcendent state. She thinks,

[I]f I stretched

my toes they could

break out of my sneakers

and curl

around the little

worms and beetles

I imagine are happily waiting for

the

seeds

we’re

about

to grow (100).

The image consists of a series of tactile elements—toes, shoes, worms, seeds, and so on. The specific reality makes Iveliz feel like she can move out of her body and become one with insects and soil.