Just Kids

Arriving at the Chelsea Hotel, Mapplethorpe sits in the lobby, pale and sickly, while Smith tries to negotiate a room for them. Someone told her that artists could sometimes get a room there "in exchange for art" (93). The first resident Smith and Mapplethorpe meet is Harry Smith, an artist and amateur anthropologist, who instantly takes a liking to the two. Harry waits for his friend, Peggy Biderman, hoping she'll buy him a meal. Harry asks Smith if she's sure she's not rich. Smith talks to Stanley Bard, the hotel manager, and says she has an advance from her employer and will give him artwork "worth far more than rent" (94). Bard accepts Smith's offer, though she thinks it's more because of her paycheck advance than their artwork. Smith and Mapplethorpe move into room 1017, "famous for being the smallest in the hotel" (95). It contains only a single bed, sink, mirror, small dresser, and a tiny black-and-white television that they never use.

A doctor in the hotel helps Mapplethorpe, who has "a high fever, trench mouth, impacted wisdom teeth, and gonorrhea" (95). The doctor tells Smith she needs to get shots, too, and they both have to register as having a communicable disease. Smith feels "unclean" (95) about having contracted gonorrhea from a stranger via Mapplethorpe but she stills love Mapplethorpe and cares for him. Smith gets her job back at Scribner's and they agree to give her an "advance for immediate expenses and a week's rent" (96). Smith returns to her apartment on Clinton Street to settle up with their landlord. Smith finds that the landlord has packed up Mapplethorpe's things, along with her books and records, but has used many of her things to decorate his own apartment. The landlord offers to keep Smith's deposit and furnishings in exchange for the three months of rent she owes him. 

Though Smith is glad to have her job back, she has "a difficult time readjusting" (98) to a more settled-down life after the freedom of her trip to Paris. She makes $70 a week and after rent, which is $55 a week, they use the rest of the money for food. Mapplethorpe can't "function holding a steady job" (100) so he picks up odd jobs, like art handling and moving gigs. Though still destitute, Smith prides herself on being one of the few hotel residents who does not owe Stanley Bard anything. 

Smith and Mapplethorpe make many friends at the Chelsea Hotel, most of them artists. Mapplethorpe becomes close with Bruce Rudow, a clothing designer, while Smith becomes close with Matthew Reich, a Bob-Dylan-obsessed musician. Both Mapplethorpe and Smith become friends with Sandy Daley, a visual artist who loans Mapplethorpe his first Polaroid camera and serves as "valued critic and confidante" (102) in critiquing Mapplethorpe's early photographs. 

On their second anniversary, Smith and Mapplethorpe take the train out to Coney Island, having ceremoniously chosen their outfits for the day. They get their picture taken by "an old man with a box camera" (109) to commemorate the day. Smith recalls that during this time, she and Mapplethorpe hardly fight. If they do have an issue with each other, they go to "the 'bad doughnut shop'" (111) to hash things out in private. Smith receives a promotion at Scribner's and begins working longer hours and making a bit more money. 

Mapplethorpe has a "great wish" (116) to break into the glamorous world surrounding the artist Andy Warhol. To achieve this end, he and Smith begin going to Max's Kansas City, a bar and restaurant where Warhol's crowd convenes nightly. Sandy Daley serves as their "elegantly dispassionate guide" (116) to Max's cliquey scene. Mapplethorpe hopes to end up at the exclusive round table in the back room. Smith has no desire to enter into Warhol's world, feeling that Max's time as "the social hub of the subterranean universe" (117) has ended. Warhol himself, having been shot by Valerie Solanas, rarely ventures into public anymore. Still, Smith accompanies Mapplethorpe and Sandy to Max's every night. Their routine involves selecting the perfect outfits for the evening, which takes Smith ten minutes and Mapplethorpe and Sandy an hour. 

The day after Halloween, Stanley Bard informs Smith and Mapplethorpe that they can move into a larger room on the hotel's second floor. Thrilled, Smith packs their few belongings and helps Mapplethorpe move them into their new, larger room. The new room is next door to the one in which the poet Dylan Thomas died. Mapplethorpe has a large wooden table to work at now but with all of his art supplies, the room becomes rather cramped. Smith helps Mapplethorpe with crafting necklaces, something he'd done for his mother as a child. They buy cheap supplies at the five-and-dime and tackle shop across the street. They also salvage lobster claws from people eating at El Quixote, the restaurant attached to the Chelsea Hotel. 

Another routine involves eating at Horn and Hardart, "the queen of the Automats" (122), or restaurants where the food is served by vending machine. Harry often joins them for chocolate milk, macaroni and cheese, and simple sandwiches. One evening, Smith goes to the Automat by herself for her favorite sandwich. She scrounges the cost of the sandwich, "exactly fifty-five cents" (123) but, after inserting the coins in the machine, learns the cost has gone up by a dime. A man asks Smith if he can help. Smith turns to find Allen Ginsburg, a famous poet, standing behind her. He gives her the dime, buys her a coffee, and invites Smith to sit with him. After talking a while, Ginsburg admits he mistook Smith for "a very pretty boy" (123). Smith asks if that means she has to return the sandwich. Later in her life, Ginsburg will become Smith's "good friend and teacher" (123). 

Mapplethorpe's artistic practice has begun to incorporate more images from vintage men's magazines. The transactions of buying the expensive men's magazines make Mapplethorpe nervous, so Smith suggests he start taking his own photographs of men. Mapplethorpe refuses, saying it would be "so much trouble" (124) to get the photographs printed. Smith begins to take photographs of her own with her friend, Judy Linn. 

Mapplethorpe and Smith finally gain entrance to the backroom at Max's. Smith, still annoyed at having to spend every night at Max's, feels she has to reciprocate Mapplethorpe's support of her work by supporting his ritual at Max's. Some nights in the backroom are dead and Mapplethorpe vows they'll never go back; other nights are "desperately animated" (126), with drag queens and "frustrated actresses" (126) breaking out in fights. One night, Danny Fields, a music manager and publicist, invites Smith and Mapplethorpe to sit at the round table. There, the "pretty but brutal" (126) girls fawn over Mapplethorpe. Mapplethorpe feels "elated with clearing this small yet monumental hurdle" (127) though Smith, privately, feels this round table is "innately doomed" (127). 

Mapplethorpe and Smith's room at the Chelsea Hotel proves too small for their needs. By a stroke of good fortune, Mapplethorpe chats with their neighbor across the street, an "overweight sad sack" (128) they dub “Pigman.” Pigman and his French bulldog have "identical faces of slack folding skin" (128). Pigman offers to sublet Mapplethorpe the front room of his home on his building's entire second floor. They arrange for Mapplethorpe and Smith to move their things in on January 1 at a rate of $100 a month. The room, three times the size of their room at the Chelsea, has floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Twenty-third Street and a wall with hundreds of nails sticking out of it. Mapplethorpe says they can hang his necklaces on the nails and Smith can start drawing again. Smith vows to make a drawing of Pigman, since they "owe him a lot" (128). To get their deposit together, Smith finds "a twenty-six-volume of the complete Henry James for next to nothing" (128) and sells it for over $100. Mapplethorpe works hard to clean Pigman's junk out of the space. 

Over the winter, things continue in a similar vein. At Max's, Smith stops "being so judgmental" (129) and becomes accepted, though she feels she "never really fit in" (129). In January, Smith meets Salvador Dalí in the Chelsea Hotel's lobby and the guitarist Johnny Winter at El Quixote. Smith meets the poet Gregory Corso, who takes her to St. Mark's Poetry Project where, through Corso's heckling, Smith learns to make sure she's "never boring" (138) when she gives a reading. Though Smith and Mapplethorpe grow closer to each other, Mapplethorpe has anxiety about money. When he brings his artwork to galleries, the owners only try to hit on him. Driven by his worry about money, Mapplethorpe begins hustling again. Smith begs him not to but Mapplethorpe is "determined to try" (135).

In February, Mapplethorpe takes Smith to Andy Warhol's Factory to see a film. There, the Factory's manager condescendingly asks Smith if she's "a folksinger" (140). This prompts Smith to cut her hair for the first time since she was a teen, using pictures of Keith Richards from The Rolling Stones as inspiration. Her new haircut causes "quite a stir" (140) at Max's and Smith finds herself invited to give haircuts and participate in a play at La MaMa, an experimental theater. Smith performs for the first time on the night after the Ohio National Guard shoots and kills four unarmed protestors at Kent State University. Though the crowd at Max's shies away from politics, this event gives the evening a somber tone.  

One night, Smith meets Bob Neuwirth, a singer and close friend of Bob Dylan's, who takes Smith for a drink at El Quixote. Taking Smith's notebook of poems from her, Neuwirth tells Smith she needs to start writing songs. Mapplethorpe comes home late, "sullen and a little angry" (142) that Smith had drinks with Neuwirth. Mapplethorpe tells Smith that he told her to sing first. Over the next few days, Mapplethorpe remains quiet. Smith recognizes Mapplethorpe's "silences as signs" (143) that something was wrong. One evening, Mapplethorpe finally tells Smith that he has been "with a fellow and not for money" (143). Though hurt, Smith gives Mapplethorpe "some measure of acceptance" (143). 

Mapplethorpe and Smith don't see Pigman for a few days, though they hear his dog howling. Mapplethorpe calls the police and they discover that Pigman has died. Paranoid they will be kicked out, Mapplethorpe tells Pigman's landlord that they've been subletting the room. The landlord feels it will be difficult to rent the loft "because of the lingering smell of death and dog piss" (145); he offers Smith and Mapplethorpe the entire loft for thirty dollars less than their room at the Chelsea. In a gesture of gratitude, Smith does a drawing called "I saw a man, he was walking his dog" (145). Though excited by this new opportunity, both Mapplethorpe and Smith feel "very sad" (145) leaving the hotel, knowing "everything would change" (145). They manage to scrape together the $450 they need to move in, Mapplethorpe by hustling and Smith by writing reviews of obscure records and selling the promotional copies for $1 apiece.

A mutual friend, a woman named Tinkerbelle, introduces Smith and Mapplethorpe to a man named David Croland. An actor, Croland likes both Smith and Mapplethorpe and expresses "genuine admiration" (148) for their artwork. Croland gets Mapplethorpe his first "important commission" (148) in Esquire magazine: a double-page spread that earns Mapplethorpe $300. Mapplethorpe begins spending more time with Croland, dressing meticulously for each meeting. Smith notices that Mapplethorpe's shyness has dissipated over the past few years and he seems much more adept at handling social situations.

On one of their last nights at the Chelsea, Smith goes to visits Harry in his room. She brings him an illustrated poem about alchemy, which Harry loves. Listening to a reel-to-reel recording of a "rare peyote ritual" (151), Harry brings out a "silver-and-ivory hairbrush with long pale bristles" (151) and begins to comb Smith's hair with it. Harry breaks the moment's intimacy by jokingly asking Smith if she has any money. 

Their new living arrangement changes Mapplethorpe and Smith's relationship. In their new loft, Mapplethorpe takes over one side while Smith has her things on the other. Not used to sleeping apart, Smith ventures over to Mapplethorpe's side on her first night sleeping alone. Mapplethorpe asks Smith what took her so long and welcomes her into his bed. Smith tells Mapplethorpe that she had to pee in a cup since they don't have a bathroom and she didn't want to walk over to the Chelsea. Though Smith has her own bedroom and workspace, she becomes distracted from her work. Without Mapplethorpe's "arranging hand" (152), Smith's space becomes cluttered with papers, records, and her knick-knacks. When Smith goes to New Jersey to visit her family, Tinkerbelle calls their house to tell Smith that Mapplethorpe and Croland are "having an affair" (153). Though Smith has already suspected as much, the news upsets her. She decides not to confront Mapplethorpe about the relationship, though, choosing instead to let Mapplethorpe tell her when he is ready. 

Smith's encouragement, along with being caught trying to steal an expensive men's magazine, prompts Mapplethorpe to begin taking his own photographs. He borrows a Polaroid from Sandy Daley and uses Smith as his first model. Smith approaches the photographs like a Bob Dylan album cover, surrounding herself with her favorite objects. Mapplethorpe tells her it's "too cluttered with crap" (154) and begins photographing himself. Mapplethorpe devotes himself to "improving himself and the presentation of his work" (155) and begins worrying about whether things are "all right" (155) between him and Smith. Smith, preoccupied with her own concerns, tells him things are fine. 

Things between Mapplethorpe and Croland come to a head soon after Smith learns of their relationship. Mapplethorpe, Smith, Croland, and Loulou de la Falaise, Croland's date, go on a double date together. Throughout the evening, Mapplethorpe and Croland break from the group, "heatedly conferring off to the side" (156). Croland grabs Loulou's hand and abruptly leaves the party. Mapplethorpe chases after them, begging Croland not to leave. Loulou, "mystified" (156), asks Croland whether he and Mapplethorpe are lovers. After Croland leaves, Mapplethorpe feels "forced" (156) to tell Smith what Smith already knows. Mapplethorpe becomes furious that Tinkerbelle told Smith "not only that he was having an affair, but that he was a homosexual" (156). Smith has "a delayed reaction" (157) to her talk with Mapplethorpe, feeling "disappointed that he hadn't confided" (157) in her. However, Smith and Mapplethorpe keep their vow not to leave each other.

Through Bobby Neuwirth, Smith begins hanging out with many rock musicians, including Todd Rundgren, Janis Joplin, and others. Neuwirth introduces Smith as "the Poet" (158) and his friends seem to embrace Smith. One night at Max's, Donald Lyons, one of the "leading male figures at the Factory" (159), invites Smith, Mapplethorpe, and Croland to see the Velvet Underground perform. Watching the band play, Smith thinks they are "the best band in New York City" (160). Soon after, Tony Ingrassia, a playwright, invites Smith to appear in his play, Island. In it, she plays a "totally self-involved" (160) woman who "shot speed" (160). During rehearsals, Tony brings Smith a syringe and tells her to inject herself with water. He assumes that Smith, "because of the way [she] looks" (161), does hard drugs. Smith recoils at the request so Tony covers her arm with melted wax and fakes the injection.

Mapplethorpe begins encouraging Smith to let people hear her poems. He invites her to an open mike moderated by the poet Jim Carroll, and she agrees to go. Smith doesn't recall what she read, only that Mapplethorpe wore "a pair of gold lame chaps that he had designed" (162). After the reading, Smith and Carroll begin spending time together. Smith begins to feel "something for someone other than Mapplethorpe" (163) and invites Carroll to stay with her sometimes. Carroll has a "modest heroin habit" (163) so he sometimes accompanies Mapplethorpe to hustle on Forty-second Street. While Mapplethorpe continues to wrestle with his sexual identity, Carroll feels confident in his, telling Mapplethorpe he knows he's not gay because he "always ask[s] for money" (164). 

In the middle of July, Smith makes the last payment on her first guitar—a Martin acoustic. She buys a Bob Dylan songbook and learns some simple chords, then puts music to her poem “Fire of Unknown Origin.” She plays it for Mapplethorpe and Sandy Daley. Since performing in Island, Smith discovered she has "no stage fright" (165) and likes to "elicit a response from the audience" (165), though she knows she’s not an actor. Smith also writes and performs an impromptu song for Janis Joplin after her performance one night. Later that month, Carroll and Smith's relationship dissolves.

On August 28, Smith attends the grand opening of Jimi Hendrix's recording studio, Electric Ladyland. Though excited to go, Smith becomes shy when she arrives and sits on the stairs outside. Hendrix passes her on the staircase and they share a friendly conversation. In September, Smith and her sister return to Paris for a visit and Smith learns of Hendrix's passing at the age of 27. On October 4, Smith spends the evening with Johnny Winter, mourning the death of another 27-year-old musician: Janis Joplin. Winter becomes superstitious that he, too, will die soon, as his first name also starts with the letter J. 

In October, Todd Rundgren takes Smith with him to see the Holy Modal Rounders, a folk-music group, at a venue in New York. Smith admires their drummer, Slim Shadow, for his "beauty, energy, [and] animal magnetism" (171). Smith tells Slim he's the "future salvation of rock and roll" (171), and asks Slim if she can interview him for Crawdaddy magazine. Slim accompanies Smith to her loft and spends the evening telling tales about himself, to the relief of Smith, who often plays the role of storyteller. They spend the next few evenings taking walks together but Smith becomes sick. The doctor diagnoses Smith with anemia and tells her to "have red meat and drink porter" (172). Unable to afford steaks, Smith pockets two of them then shares them with Slim. Concerned that Smith isn't eating enough, Slim takes Smith to Max's for a lobster dinner. There, Jackie Curtis, a drag queen associated with Andy Warhol, calls Smith to her table. She asks what she's doing with Sam Shepard, "the biggest playwright off-Broadway" (173). Surprised, Smith confronts Slim about his identity and he cops to the truth.

Mapplethorpe continues his path of upward social mobility. Though he often wants Smith to accompany him to his events, she feels "increasingly out of place in Mapplethorpe's social whirl" (174). She continues to feel she was "born rebellious" (174) and has difficulty conforming to the expectations of high society. These social excursions do little to help Mapplethorpe secure a gallery show, so he decides to hold one at Stanly Amos's gallery at the Chelsea Hotel. He fashions his own invitations and shows his works of collage "centered on freaks" (176). He also constructs a "fairly large altarpiece" (176) for the show, using a few items of Smith's in it. He promises he won't sell the altarpiece and will return Smith's things to her, but someone then buys the altarpiece. 

Mapplethorpe continues to encourage Smith to give a reading of her poems. Smith agrees to it and Mapplethorpe arranges for her to open for the poet Gerard Malanga at St. Mark's. In preparing for her reading, Smith wants to "infuse the written word with the immediacy and frontal attack of rock and roll" (180). Shepard suggests Smith add music to accompany her reading, so Smith approaches Lenny Kaye, a music writer and record-store clerk who plays guitar. Smith asks him if he could "play a car crash with an electric guitar" (181) and Kaye agrees to it. Malanga and Smith's reading attracts a large crowd and Smith feels "totally wired" (181) by the energy in the room. As the first person to bring an electric guitar into St. Mark's, Smith provokes "cheers and jeers" (182) but wins Gregory Corso's approval. 

After her reading, the confident Smith acts "like a young cock" (182), forgetting to thank Mapplethorpe and Malanga. Though Mapplethorpe is upset, he can't "conceal his pride" (182) in Smith. She gets "bombarded with offers" (182) after her reading, including offers to publish her poems, book more readings, and record an album for Steve Paul's Blue Sky Records. Smith thinks these offers have come "too easy" (182) so she decides to "back off" (182). She quits Scribner's and gets a job as Steve Paul's assistant, though he continues to encourage her to quit and record an album. As a reminder "not to take spoils that were not rightfully" (183) hers and, also as an homage to Crazy Horse, Smith gets a lightning bolt tattooed on her knee. 

Shepard and Smith continue their relationship, although Smith has learned that Shepard is married with a young child. Shepard lives at the Chelsea Hotel and Smith enjoys spending time in his room, having a shower whenever she wants.

Before Shepard leaves Smith to return to his family, he does two things for her: buys her a "battered black Gibson" (184)

guitar and convinces her to write a play with him. They write the play Cowboy Mouth in one night, basing the characters, Cavale and Slim, on themselves. The play tells the story of Cavale, based on Smith, kidnapping Slim, based on Shepard, and trying to turn Slim "into her image of a rock and roll savior" (185). Slim agrees with the plan at first then finally tells Cavale he "can't realize her dream" (185). Smith and Shepard perform the play together for three nights then Shepard disappears. He leaves Smith with an envelope of money and tells her that the dreams she has for him—of being a rock star—aren't for him, but were meant for her.

Croland introduces Mapplethorpe to John McKendry, the "curator of photography at the Metropolitan Museum of Art" (189) and his wife, the socialite Maxime de la Falaise. Mapplethorpe gravitates to their glamorous world easily, though Smith feels "awkward in their company, if not bored" (189). McKendry embraces Smith, though, making her feel understood. He also shows Mapplethorpe the archives at the Met, encouraging him to continue his forays into photography. McKendry's "devotion to Mapplethorpe's work" (191) becomes transferred onto Mapplethorpe himself, as McKendry becomes infatuated with the young man. Mapplethorpe, though, does not reciprocate McKendry's feelings. Smith sees that McKendry's support, though, has encouraged Mapplethorpe's "complete surrender" (192) to the powers of photography. 

After her reading at St. Mark's, more people around Smith begin encouraging her to front a rock band. Having written some songs for Cowboy Mouth, Smith feels "the desire to explore songwriting" (196). Through Shepard, Smith meets Lee Crabtree, a shy, young composer, who helps Smith work on three of her songs. One night, Crabtree comes to Smith's side of the loft, soaking with rainwater and distraught over being written out of his inheritance from his grandfather. Smith consoles him but never sees Crabtree again. She learns he has jumped from the roof of the Chelsea Hotel, wearing the shirt she gave him that night at her loft, and died. Smith feels "strange singing after that" (198), though Sandy Pearlman, producer and artist manager, continues to encourage her. Through Pearlman, Smith meets Allen Lanier, a member of the band Blue Oyster Cult. Though Pearlman intends for Smith and Lanier to write songs together, they enter a romantic relationship. 

Telegraph Books, a small press, offers to publish a book of Smith's poems, called Seventh Heaven. In it, she focuses on "sex, broads, and blasphemy" (199). Mapplethorpe worries Smith's work has become "too provocative" (200) and won't sell. McKendry and Falaise agree to host Smith's book release party at their "elegant Central Park West apartment" (200) and Smith sells the books "from a large shopping bag for a dollar a piece" (200). 

In 1972, Mapplethorpe meets Sam Wagstaff, an "intelligent, handsome, and rich[…]collector, patron, and former curator of the Detroit Institute" (203). In Wagstaff, who calls Mapplethorpe "the shy pornographer" (203), Mapplethorpe finds a patron for his work, and romantic partner. Though incredibly wealthy, Wagstaff frequents the same restaurants as Mapplethorpe and Smith, and has taken up the study of Sufism, dressing "simply in white linen and sandals" (205). Wagstaff and Mapplethorpe share the "same birthday, twenty-five years apart" (205), which Smith interprets as a sign of their "seemingly predestined union" (205). For their birthdays, Mapplethorpe gives Wagstaff a photograph and Wagstaff gives Mapplethorpe a Hasselblad camera. 

Smith and Mapplethorpe's loft gets broken into and the thief steals Mapplethorpe’s Hasselblad and motorcycle jacket. Mapplethorpe becomes upset not only at the loss but at the "lack of safety and invasion of privacy" (207). The thief also steals the outfit Smith had worn on her and Mapplethorpe's anniversary at Coney Island. Mapplethorpe, Wagstaff, and Lanier work out the details of Mapplethorpe and Smith's departure from the loft. Wagstaff gives Mapplethorpe money to buy a loft near his on Bond Street, and Lanier finds an apartment for himself and Smith in walking distance to the others. Smith and Mapplethorpe move out on October 20, 1972—the poet Arthur Rimbaud's birthday. Smith leaves a few of her belongings behind, as an "homage to the room" (208). Mapplethorpe asks if Smith feels sad, but she replies that she feels ready. Packing her things, Smith contemplates all the people she's known whom she'll never see again. She feels "no sense of vindication as one of the handfuls of survivors" (209), wishing she could have "seen them all succeed" (209). Smith feels, though, that her own life is about to undergo a big change.