Out of My Dreams

Content Warning: This section of the guide contains discussions of ableism.

“I opened my eyes, as the dream began to crumble into the reality of morning, I realized I could not speak; there was no music, not even any random birds squawking outside.”

This quote comes from the moment when Melody wakes up from the dream of herself speaking and dancing, and this initial imagery is designed to foreshadow the novel’s climactic moment, in which she really does deliver a speech, sharing her voice in her own way. In this early moment, however, Draper emphasizes the sensory differences between the dream and reality, subtracting sensory experiences one by one as Melody comes to terms with the reality of her disability. The negative constructions emphasize the feeling of absence that Melody harbors, indicating that she has internalized these negative feelings while living with her disability.

“Fully awake now, I gazed out my bedroom window—I’d fallen asleep popped up on my pillows, so at least I could see outside—but my view was gray, gray, and more gray.”

In this passage, Draper uses weather and landscape to parallel Melody’s emotional state. While the window represents a form of freedom and allows Melody to observe the outside world, her position also reminds her of how limited she feels. The repetition of the word “gray” also mirrors Melody’s glum mental state, invoking a sense of the endless, repetitive patterns of facing similar challenges every day.

“They don’t see me. Melody Brooks. I can do eleventh-grade algebra problems in my head. Crossword puzzles too!”

In this scene, Melody articulates her frustration with feeling unseen and unacknowledged by her peers, who judge her by her disability and do not acknowledge her intelligence.