While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

Humanizing mental illness and improving care is the primary purpose behind Meg Kissinger’s memoir and her career as an investigative journalist. Kissinger grew up in a family where mental health and illness were not addressed, and she and her siblings were taught to hide and bear their pain privately. Her mother, Jean, was so ashamed to admit to Holmer that she was medicated and saw a psychiatrist before she married him that she even wanted to call the wedding off. Holmer, meanwhile, had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Medication in the 1950s was new and had unrecognized side effects, so while Jean was treated for her anxiety and depression, she was in and out of psychiatric hospitals. Holmer was not being treated, and his mental illness affected the family through his unpredictability and abuse. Kissinger’s siblings went through similar ordeals, as Nancy’s mental health was not to be discussed, Mary Kay kept her depression at college a secret, and Jake did the same. Later, Danny died by suicide. These tragedies affected not only the person with the condition but also Kissinger’s entire family, which she explains when she notes, “For every person with severe mental illness, there are dozens of others whose lives are upended by their disease” (206).